Blood into Water

It seems my life is doing that oh so grand thing, of not telling me what is going on. About 2 months ago, I was walking down the stairs wearing these cute wedges I love. And if you know me, then you know I’m usually in tennis shoes like my slip on Vans, or boots. Wouldn’t you know, I slip on the stairs, but I caught myself before I thought anything really happened. You know, that little slip and wobble bobble, then righted myself. No biggie. None at all.

Or so I thought.

I had a little pain in my knee and some locking later that day. Made going to the Irish Festival a lot of fun, but that just meant Boyfriend and I took our time walking around and enjoying everything. The next day it continued. The pain was there, slightly worse, no bruising that I could see, or swelling. Though do note, my knees are boney. They make stick men look fat.  I brush this all aside and think nothing of it.

Fat Stick Man?

Day by day the fun continues. My knee is locking all the time. No rhyme or reason about it or pattern. Just happens. Pain is an every day occurrence. What else is new though? After all with the Fibromyalgia, pain is always there anyways. Let’s just add more to it ok? Ok!

Make it So!

After about 3 weeks of this, I’ve had enough. I cannot function without it being annoying. I call my handy dandy Orthopedic Surgeon who is almost on speed dial. Just kidding, he is not, that would be awkward, but he is the guy who fixed up my other leg when other doctors told me it was in my head and I was making it up. An appointment was made and the trip taken. He said “Lets try some therapy and see if it fixes it. If you’re still hurting with no improvement, then call us back, and we will see about an MRI.” For now, let’s give you a knee brace. This said knee brace is squeaky. You know when I am coming and going now, even if you are blind.

Squeak Squeak

Want to know something weird? You can feel things grinding in me knee. It’s very random and icky. Yes, it creeps me out.

I just had the MRI today to give you an indication of how well the therapy has been helping. The pain has increased as well. I called the doctor today to ask if there is anything else I can do for the pain. Do you know how hard it is to lie in a big metal tube that is a giant magnet and not move? I twitched quite a bit, at least it was before the testing started though.


I will now have water like blood. 1000mg of aspirin every 4 hours. So far the only thing it’s accomplishing is making me feel ill. Though that could also be the B.C pill I take too. That’s also making me feel nauseated.

So until at least Thursday, I alert all the blind people where I am, take enough aspirin to make water out of blood, and I like Billy Bob Thorton in Big Bang Theory the other week.



So after having my MRI rescheduled, I finally had it on Thursday.  Friday morning I received the call from my doctor. All clear. Whew. Wait though! I still have my headaches. Why? Why must I be tortured by these?  They asked me about the systems I still have, and the pain level.

It hurts this bad!

It hurts this bad!

“Well I’ve been around a 7 most times. Then I have these moments of burning and then icy numbness. It’s on one side mainly around my temple, then it travels to the back, but every once in a while, it travels to the other side.”

“So you’re not feeling any better?”

Did they not just get what I said?

“No, I’m not feeling better. It’s been worse since you gave me the steroids.”

“So I think we need to try something new …(you think?)…let’s try a neurologist, I now think you have what’s called trigeminal neuralgia …(uh um yeah what she said)… so you’re going to have to get some tests done from a neurologist, but in the mean time, let’s try you on a new medication.  It helps with migraines and seizures…(Seizures!?)… and it also helps trigeminal neuralgia. ”

“Are there side effects?”

“Well yes. I wanted to talk to you about them. You can have blurry vision, drowsiness, and rashes.”

Ok that’s not too bad.

Then I picked up the medication.  I was pulled aside. Big green sticker on my package to say I needed counseling.  Ok, this is new. The pharmacist comes over to tell me that my depression medication and this new one could have a bad interaction. Hmm. It can intensify the effects I am already getting from Prozac. Then when I get home, I’m reading the extra sheet they printed out and gave me.


Ok, now I don’t want to take this medication.

This medication can cause rare and serious skin conditions that can lead to death.
This medication can cause rare and serious blood problems that can lead to death.
This medication can cause suicidal thoughts. (Again DEATH! )

Are they trying to kill me? Are they trying to say something?



I’m suppose to take 200mg of this stuff a day, thankfully, the doctor told me I can take just one of those nasty chewable tablets a day if I want. Um, Yeah! I don’t need to increase the issues I’m taking anti depressants for. I don’t need to increase my depression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability, panic attacks, and the like. So I’m taking one a day, well night, about 2 hours before bed. Why? Because the first one I took last night knocked me out forever (though about the first good night sleep I’ve had in a while) and left me a bit tired and groggy all day.

Time to get use to a new medication. Time to be sleepy for awhile. Time to make an appointment with another doctor.

Blood, Needles, and Doctors, OH MY!

So, you may have noticed I haven’t been posting much lately. It’s a mix of writers block and pain. I’ve been suffering from a nonstop headache for several weeks.  Where the most pain is, there is a small lump. Hmm, that’s interesting. When did that get there? Could that be a problem? Maybe it’s time to see a doctor.

So off to the horrible place full of evil people I went. (In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I have phobias, and one of them involves doctors and hospitals… major panic attacks, uncontrollable.) A quivering and a shaking I went with a tummy full of the worst butterflies you could find. Like giant rabid ones, oh my! Sitting in the waiting room after checking in, you look down and see my leg a twitching and bouncing away. I kept sending messages to someone that kept me calmer and told me I can survive. ( And now you’re back, from Outer Space…) Ok, I can do this. Breathe girl, breathe.

I’m called into the exam room. (Run girl, run. Right now! GO!)

Oh God not you!

Oh God not you!

Into that sterile hellish prison I go.

So they go through these “routine” questions that they insist upon me answering. Why, I’m not sure as they do not seem to contain anything regarding my current situation. (Really, did you need to know why I didn’t have health insurance since 2009 and that I’m no longer engaged.) Then they take the vitals. (Btw, no, I don’t need to hear about you trying to buy a new smart phone. I don’t feel like offering you my opinion since you will not listen anyways.) Then they ask the question… why are you here. Oh, now you think that is important? Hmmm.

“Well I have had a headache for about 2.5 3 weeks now and it has not gone away. Then one day when I tried to massage it away I found this squishy lump. Interestingly enough, that’s the area that the pain radiates from. Also, funny enough, my face and head goes icy stabbing numb from that area randomly.”

Ok, the doctor will see you soon…

How much I loathe those words. 30 minutes later, after pacing around the room and staring at all the random things they left in there about diabetes and COPD. Not very interesting or containing anything for me at the moment. I started sleeping on the table.

“So, Alice, why are you here today?”

Did she seriously just ask me that? Is that not in the chart that I just explained it all. Sigh. I really should have ran when I had the chance.

After that, she proceeded to check my head and eyes and nose. “Well, this is just a cyst, so it shouldn’t be causing you any problems. I think you’re just having a serious headache.” (Did she really just say that?) “Let’s try 3 days of a steroid to break it up. I’ll be right back with the prescription.”

Sure you’ll be right back. Again, 20 minutes later….

Ok, so now I have the medication prescription and a prescription to get blood drawn after fasting. Off I go.

Lets jump to a about 36 hours later for some blood drawing. Good times I tell you.

Here I am thinking just like 3 vials of blood, nope wrong. These people are blood sucking vampires! I might as well have donated blood. 9 fraking vials of blood. Oh and then they send me off with a cup to pee in. Really? Pee in a cup to see about headaches? Sickos.

Blood results? Nothing. Just elevated cholesterol levels.. ie. diet and exercise more. Got it.

So back to the steroids. Did they help? Goodness me, NO! In fact everything was made worse. Now my whole head is in pain, constant nagging fiery burning and pain, with these periods of icy numbness. It’s a party. So now, tomorrow I’m off to get a brain MRI. Remember how I don’t like doctors, yeah, this is included in it.

I’d rather deal with the vampires again. The weird sickos that want blood and urine, well they did have a redeeming quality. They dug my Star Wars t-shirt.

One of those days.

Have you ever had a day where you wish you had not woken up? That’s today for me. I wish I never woke up. That it did not exist. Just make it go away.

That’s all I want. To just forget today, pretend it didn’t happen, go back to sleep, and not wake up. That’s what I want.

I woke up with a major migraine, a pain in my side that felt like I was kicked by a donkey there, a nose that seems to be acting like a running faucet. So it started off awful. Then it just got worse. I did take some Excedrin Migraine, then back to sleep I went. Upon waking, it just continued to get worse.

Everything is setting me off in a rotten mood. I feel like Sid Vicious. (I’m praying you know who he is, I’ll be rather disappointed if you didn’t.) I was irritated with the dogs. I was irritated with myself. I told myself off. I throw everything in my room into a pile because I couldn’t find my robe. It’s a nice fuzzy fleece one that I love when I’m feeling blah. Then the fuzzy slippers were missing. I wanted my fuzzy slippers. Not socks.

Then it was up to the tea. Not finding the one I wanted. Then I found it and the world was right, for a moment. Then it was back to sneezing every minute. Sometimes it was about 5-10 in a one minute period. Oh the joys of colds or allergies. I will now perpetually be sick for about a month. It’s how my cookies crumble.

Then I just seemed to disappoint people. I slept most of the day, I said the wrong things, people got quiet and didn’t know what to say to me. Just when I needed distraction, I couldn’t find it.

Back to bed I go.

Upon waking, it was a rinse and repeat. Why did I even bother? I’m still not sure. Perhaps I should go back to sleep. If this is how the week is going to go, perhaps I best not wake up.


Where’s my mind?

Thank you for calling Plague Central, how may I infect you today?

Don’t give me that cheeky look Mr. I’m serious. This is my job. I’m about to start the virus apocalypse. Don’t try to stop me. Don’t you dare.

Oh who am I kidding, I’m just infecting the office. Or was the office infecting me? I blame the office. After all, I wasn’t the first one to die from the Spanish Influenza. No, I was just a mere victim from patient zero, who still remains nameless.


Blast this epidemic! Just as I am starting to feel like I might be human, I go back to work, and low and behold, my fever comes back. In comes the brain fuzzy, and out goes my ability to function properly. Or at all really. I believe I stared at the monitor trying to determine an order for 10 minutes, and another spending 20 minutes trying to decipher what a sales rep was asking.

When I find the barer of this black plague, I shall exact my revenge. Let the floggings begin!

Bring out your dead. Here’s one.
He says he’s not dead.
Yes he is.
I”m not.
He isn’t.
Well he will be soon, he’s very ill.
I’m getting better.
No you’re not. You’ll be stone dead in a moment.

It’s really been one of those days.

Don’t let the evil infect you!


Remember Violet Beauregarde?  She needed to be “juiced” after chewing the tv dinner gum. Violet turned violet!  Yes, her, remember her? That was me today. Thank goodness for those little pink antihistamine pills. They turn me back.

Here I thought it was going to be a normalish (after all as a CSR and account person, I have never faced normal, I attract them.) day. Boy was I wrong.  There was a training seminar going on today for the other half of the office. They had a huge spread of bagels out in the lobby. I’m walking back from getting some tea, and decide why not? Bad idea, I was punished for my misdeed. I was struck by evil!

What is this evil you asked? Why my good friend, it was my sensitive food allergy towards blueberries. The best part, the bagel I “borrowed” was plain, not touching anything with blueberries.  Curses to me! Somewhere it had touched them for I had a faint taste and within 15 minutes I was in an allergic reaction. I can’t have a normal one, hives, no, not me! I turn flaming red like I have sever sunburn, I feel as if I have a fever (in fact, my skin becomes so hot that I’m sweating), and my throat feels like I’m and awesome fire breathing dragon with a sandpaper throat.

What a way to spend the day. Best part, I didn’t have my pink pills with me (note to self, buy more).  I ran around the office trying to find some, and a poor kind soul was carrying some. My new hero for the day! So I didn’t make it full blown reaction. Instead I walked around being red and breathing fire, but didn’t have the lungs stop working.

I learned my lesson,  I will never allow the evil to infect me again!

Up your’s Mr Murphy!

Curse you Mr. Murphy and Fate! Curse you! I shake my fist in your faces. How dare you treat me this way?

In what way are they treating you? Cursing me more like. I was sick last week to the point of ignoring my computer (GASP! Yes, I was that sick.) and just stayed in my little hole. Now as I’m feeling better, poor me, who is starting a new job tomorrow, nervous as can be, starts to get a sore throat and coughing. Curse you evil forces that are tap dancing upon me as I speak. Don’t you know I want to be a big girl and have a new big girl job and you’re making it harder for me to want to wake up early!

I hate waking up early. I do not sleep well at all. It’s either racing thoughts keeping me up, or nightmares, or sometimes, my body just does not want to sleep. So here I am, not feeling well, have to get up early, and my body says “NO”! Where’s my cough syrup? I’m waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down.

One more spoon of cough syrup now.

When I get better, you best watch out evil, because the force shall retaliate, and you will not like it. Your force choke is coming!