Quitting like a Winner

How I love and hate my job. It’s true. I love the work I do, however I dislike my management as if they were STDs and peanuts. Which is why after finally getting off of night shifts, they asked me to go back on them, to create my 7th shift change in 8 months, I decided I had to much. I am not to be piece of bubble gum used to cover a leak in Hover Dam. So I’ve been searching for a new job. In fact, I have a second interview with a company next week. So I have to think, how will I leave this current company, and then I thought, this place is a revolving door with about 15 people that have quit or been asked to leave since I started, so I’m going to take notes of how they left.

So you’re telling me that the previous management didn’t have this issue? There has not been a revolving door of employees?

That’s right! I mean, I cannot seem to even fathom what could be wrong here. Can you?


For something fun, let’s take a look at some of these stellar hires we’ve been through.

My first day of work had foreshadowing all over it, I just didn’t notice it. The guy sitting next to me went to lunch and was never heard from again. To this day he is still at lunch. Wow, that’s a long lunch. I wish I could have a lunch like that.


After that there was Temper Number One and Mr. Food Poisoning. They left in about 2 months after I started. Temper was funny. He would flip over almost nothing. So thus it became my goal to see how many times a week I could push over the limit. I giggled once at something random and he lost it. It wasn’t even to him. Easy target. Food poisoning seem to have can you guess it, FOOD POISONING ever other week. Those 2 didn’t have great leaving stories.

Temper Number Two. This was a fun one. First he applied with one name, said his name was something else, then went by a completely other name. Hmmm. Next his temper was hysterical. You would try to tell him how to do something, and suddenly he took it out on the mouse. Yes, the mouse apparently was evil and attacking him and making him do the wrong things at work. I think the panic attack in the middle of talking to a client was epic. He got tripped up on one thing, not even something big, but blanked and refused to talk. He had to be calmed down and left alone for about 2 hours. No more phone calls that day. He was let go a week later.

Next was the texters. You’ll love these ones. So they were the hard workers, fun to hang out, picked up on everything quickly. Then suddenly one day one doesn’t show up. No call. The next day same thing. No show no call. Ok. That lead to us to trying to text and check up on the person. Finally we get a reply, and it was him saying he quits. What!? Gets better. Number Two is telling us how that was messed up and he couldn’t believe someone would do that. A week later he is joking saying that he will do that, just not show up and text he quits. A week later we’re told his mom is in the hospital he won’t be in. Two days later the text comes in, he quits.

App To Quit

They must have used this app.

After that we had another one quit, just saying his wife was sick and so he quits. Well, ok there Skippy.

We had a string for a bit of no quitters. Then the best new hires and leavers joined us.

Hero number 1, shall be called The IT Tech Who Couldn’t Type. I kid you not. It was painful to watch this guy work, and he sat right next to me. He would finger pick every letter. And it took a year to type a sentence. You would tell him something 25 times, and he still didn’t get. Even better you know how I work with talking on the phones all day with end users? He stated he doesn’t want to do that. Despite it being in the job description. Yeah we let him go.


Hero Number 2 is better than him. I call him Sleeper. He lasted 4 days. He started right as I was switching off night shifts. He was falling asleep every few minutes. They sent him home early because of it twice. Day 4 he was falling asleep as soon as he sat down. That was the last we saw of him before management asked him to go home and not come back. That wasn’t even the best part. This was definitely an  unhealthy guy that was about 40ish. You could literally hear him wheezing to walk behind you. Remember that South Park episode where the boys were playing World of Warcraft, I swear this guy looked like him. Also, I heard this from the team, when he was told to home, he called his mum. Nothing wrong with that, but the stereotype. It was all there!

SleeperI was afraid we were going to have to  use the EKG and defibrillators we have. (Before you start thinking we have people dropping dead all the time, we work on hardware and software for medics, we try to make sure that they’re working with their monitors before sending them back their hardware. We haven’t  had anyone drop yet on our team.) Then he asked how to create a bookmark, and how to copy paste. He was hired as a Tier 2 IT Technician.

This is how I felt.

This is how I felt.

Some pretty awesome examples huh? I like the guy that went to lunch, and the texters. Though maybe I’ll do something different, give them a 2 week notice, then again, standing up, yelling that’s it, dropping a mic and walking out seems like a pretty stellar idea as well.

What do you think?