So, you may have noticed I haven’t been posting much lately. It’s a mix of writers block and pain. I’ve been suffering from a nonstop headache for several weeks. Where the most pain is, there is a small lump. Hmm, that’s interesting. When did that get there? Could that be a problem? Maybe it’s time to see a doctor.
So off to the horrible place full of evil people I went. (In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I have phobias, and one of them involves doctors and hospitals… major panic attacks, uncontrollable.) A quivering and a shaking I went with a tummy full of the worst butterflies you could find. Like giant rabid ones, oh my! Sitting in the waiting room after checking in, you look down and see my leg a twitching and bouncing away. I kept sending messages to someone that kept me calmer and told me I can survive. ( And now you’re back, from Outer Space…) Ok, I can do this. Breathe girl, breathe.
I’m called into the exam room. (Run girl, run. Right now! GO!)
Into that sterile hellish prison I go.
So they go through these “routine” questions that they insist upon me answering. Why, I’m not sure as they do not seem to contain anything regarding my current situation. (Really, did you need to know why I didn’t have health insurance since 2009 and that I’m no longer engaged.) Then they take the vitals. (Btw, no, I don’t need to hear about you trying to buy a new smart phone. I don’t feel like offering you my opinion since you will not listen anyways.) Then they ask the question… why are you here. Oh, now you think that is important? Hmmm.
“Well I have had a headache for about 2.5 3 weeks now and it has not gone away. Then one day when I tried to massage it away I found this squishy lump. Interestingly enough, that’s the area that the pain radiates from. Also, funny enough, my face and head goes icy stabbing numb from that area randomly.”
Ok, the doctor will see you soon…
How much I loathe those words. 30 minutes later, after pacing around the room and staring at all the random things they left in there about diabetes and COPD. Not very interesting or containing anything for me at the moment. I started sleeping on the table.
“So, Alice, why are you here today?”
Did she seriously just ask me that? Is that not in the chart that I just explained it all. Sigh. I really should have ran when I had the chance.
After that, she proceeded to check my head and eyes and nose. “Well, this is just a cyst, so it shouldn’t be causing you any problems. I think you’re just having a serious headache.” (Did she really just say that?) “Let’s try 3 days of a steroid to break it up. I’ll be right back with the prescription.”
Sure you’ll be right back. Again, 20 minutes later….
Ok, so now I have the medication prescription and a prescription to get blood drawn after fasting. Off I go.
Lets jump to a about 36 hours later for some blood drawing. Good times I tell you.
Here I am thinking just like 3 vials of blood, nope wrong. These people are blood sucking vampires! I might as well have donated blood. 9 fraking vials of blood. Oh and then they send me off with a cup to pee in. Really? Pee in a cup to see about headaches? Sickos.
Blood results? Nothing. Just elevated cholesterol levels.. ie. diet and exercise more. Got it.
So back to the steroids. Did they help? Goodness me, NO! In fact everything was made worse. Now my whole head is in pain, constant nagging fiery burning and pain, with these periods of icy numbness. It’s a party. So now, tomorrow I’m off to get a brain MRI. Remember how I don’t like doctors, yeah, this is included in it.
I’d rather deal with the vampires again. The weird sickos that want blood and urine, well they did have a redeeming quality. They dug my Star Wars t-shirt.