You Keep Holding Me Down

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I’ll still feel you here ’til the moment I’m gone.

You have a hold on me, and no matter how hard I try to shake you off, I cannot seem to leave you behind. You’re there, all the time, hiding in the shadows, waiting for a time to pounce, or there, taking a hold of me, leading me to where I do not want to go. Back to where I was before, where I am trying to escape from.

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You’ve held me captive for so long. I didn’t have a voice, unable to run away, so weak that I let you lead me, tell me what to do, how to be. You were living for me.  I was a prisoner, with you holding my chains. Taut, ever so taut, with no hope of escaping. Would I ever see the light? Would I ever be free?

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I didn’t think I would have the chance. I didn’t think I would be able to escape, to run away. I waited, waited for so long, trying to find an opening.  Would it ever be there? Would I find my opening? Would I be strong enough to try, if I did see one?

The moment came. I felt the tension lessen. Oh would I be up for this? Could I do it? Was I strong enough?

I made a run for it. I felt so strong, felt that I could do it. The door was there, in my sight, my finger tips just grazed the knob, then you lashed out, pulled me back. My strength I thought I felt, you broke it into pieces. I had no hope of making it.

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I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down.
You’re keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You’re on to me, on to me, and all over…
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

You’re always there, and so here I live, in your clutches and shadow, with you holding me down when I think I’ve gotten somewhere. Pulling me back when hope and freedom are with in my reach.  Here I am, on my knees, begging for you to release me. Please, let go of this hold on me, let me be me, the me I am suppose to be. If you weren’t here, holding me down, pushing me down, I could be so much more.

Please, let me be free, let me live, let me survive and be strong, even if it’s just for a day. Let me go.

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14 thoughts on “You Keep Holding Me Down

  1. The vice grip it has is the worst. For the all of us, I would love to turn the tables and stomp it in the ground.

  2. Very emotional. It seems like a very tough situation to be in. One that I’ve been lucky enough to not experience. It would be so hard to be with someone that you know is wrong for you, but you just stick around.
    I hope the situation figures itself out and you are happy! 🙂

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