I’ve been sitting and thinking, trying to describe the feelings that are coursing through me. Partially this comes from feeling numb. I’m looking around and it seems that those I know are happy. They have a life, they have someone to share that life with. They’re not judged, they’re not on the outside looking in. They know they belong and what they’re meant to do.
Not I, I’m not allowed to feel like that. I’m the dog that is in the animal shelter that spends their life there. No one wants them, no one cares, except for the volunteer that routinely visits and gives love. But that’s not all the time, for they have a life of their own, their own worries and cares.
I live in a world of being rejected. Being looked down upon. Knowing that I’ve been damaged, and we all know, that no one wants the damaged products. They’re overlooked and discarded, hidden so no one can see the unsightliness they present. Thus is life, or so I say.
Lonely. Doomed. Damaged. Unwanted. Unlovable. Worthless. Discarded. Broken.
Would I ever be someone or something someone would want. Besides to use me. I’ve been used. I’ve been thrown away. I don’t want to repeat it. I want to be loved. I want to feel what it is like to exist. I no longer want to be hidden.
Will you continue to judge me based upon what you perceive to be as my imperfections? Do me a favor, please, walk in my shoes for a day, an hour even, and see what it’s like. Feel what I try not to feel. Experience what you make me experience. Doesn’t sound like fun does it? It’s not as made up as you have thought now is it?