You know I’m geek. I proudly admit it. The few friends I have tease me about it. I’m told quite often that I’m such a geek. And I love it. So I guess in a way, you can blame this observation upon that fact. That I’m a geek and I think in certain ways create rather unusual analogies.
I’m always referring to zombies (after all they’re rather cool and amusing to try and debate about). They’re interesting, and make you wonder if in fact they could be true. Are there zombies out there?
I believe that there are. Not in the way that you are thinking of the walkers trying to attack and eat you, or infect you with the same virus to turn you into a walker as well. No, not those types. I mean the emotional types.
Scary thought isn’t it? That there could be zombies among us and you would never know, unless you are brave enough to interact, or try to interact with them. Guess what? You have. You’re reading this after all. I feel that I have been an emotional zombie for most of my life, especially the past 9 to 10 years.
To me, this type of zombie exists quite like a so called normal person (after all, what exactly is normal except for people to try and justify why they think people should act in like manners), except that they are more robotic, blank, dead emotionally. Like I am. Well was, or still am, trying to get better at it. They feel nothing, but continue on in a day to day manner. They’re devoid of feeling anything. They try, but they’re unable to. Let’s look at an example.
Hmm, where can we get one? Oh I know! Duh, it’s me. I was a living dead girl. Still am, just only now I’m living half dead girl. From the moment of my rape, I shut off all of my emotions, this is known as we know it lead to some other problems that I’ve talked about. I went about doing everything inside of shell of myself. I was robotic. I worked when I was able to (I’ll be honest, I ditched work a bit, and then quit). I worked ate slept. Rinse and Repeat. That was my life. Tried relationships, but apparently I cannot commit since as far it ever got was being engaged, yet unable to feel as if I could trust ended that. I have a great knack for picking such “great” guys that feel that they should dictate my entire life to me and make my decisions for me. I have gone about things without really caring, or wanting to know what the consequences are. Why would I though? After all I was dead. Am dead. I’ve become a walker in my own sense. Emotions were gone and I’m out to suck yours out.
I’m sure you’ve met others in your life besides me who are like this. It wouldn’t be so easy for me to write and admit this if I didn’t think there were others. It’s easy to do. To die and hide your emotions from everyone. What is the point in sharing them when it makes you hurt so much you wish you were dead?
Are you a zombie?