Why Rabbit Holes? Growing up, one of my favorite books was Alice in Wonderland, as well as Through the Looking Glass. Despite being a tongue-in-cheek political satire, I connected with it. Still do but in a different way. Alice ended up in a world she was not use to and made the best of it by continuing onward.
Can I continue onward? Can I make it through a world that I do not know? It’s what I try to do every day. While I am not Alice, and not in a world of Wonderland, I am me, and I’m trying to make it through each day in a world that each day is not like the last. A world that I am continually encountering roadblocks that I’m not sure how to navigate. Or meeting with new situations that I do not know how to cope with. Is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal to always be so unsure of one self and not know what to expect from life?
What exactly is normal? Is it the life I experience when I’m in a better state, where I’m not fighting off feelings of depression from day to day, sometimes even minute to minute it seems. Or is it that these moments of what I think are of calm and happiness, are they just the rabbit holes, the life that I’m not suppose to experience? These are the things I’m always thinking of. These are what create my rabbit holes. Not the state of mind from drugs, but my state of mind from trying to deal with life and aftermath of what has become of me.