So whilst I was M.I.A., I kept doing the photography. I had some amazing days for it too. I wanted to add a few of my favorites that I took.
So whilst I was M.I.A., I kept doing the photography. I had some amazing days for it too. I wanted to add a few of my favorites that I took.
Again today, I’m wearing my Clash Tshirt. I was venturing into the public, and wanted to show everyone I’m wearing it again. They don’t know it’s been a while, or what it means, but I did. It felt good. I went to my favorite tea store, and found some new teas to try. Last time it was some flavored oolong teas, today it was flavored green teas. Everyone needs to try something new after all. And teas are healthy for you, and have an awesome effect on me. They are a calming agent, and no, they have lots of caffeine in them. It’s my I buy them.
This lead to a conversation with myself. It was about what do I like, what makes me, no, not the genetics portion, but hobbies, likes, dislikes. Forget the depression and the rape, those are what happened, yes, they play a part of some of your habits, but they’re not you. Forget them for now. You can do it. They don’t make up who you are, they don’t define who you are. Since they don’t define you, then what would you say does define you. Go ahead, give it a go, write it down. You can think on it, but come back soon with an answer.
I know, I have interesting conversations with myself.
I decided that maybe I was write. So I did take some time to sit down and think up on this. (Ok, I’ll admit some of this came about from a very loving brother who said he is worried about me, told me that I was happiest and seemed so self confident when I wasn’t attached to the laptop playing games, or hiding out in the house, but when I was doing things. So it made me think, which is where my dialog came from I believe. Sometimes it takes a bit for things to work it’s way into reasoning.)
So what does define me? Really define me, not random things, but what would I associate with myself, that makes me happy, and would be so very ME. What makes me happy? What hobbies or passions do you really have that someone would say are you?
Well, after some thinking, here are some things I came up with.
That’s actually more than I thought. I’m sure I forgot a few, but I didn’t think I’d even come up with that much. Wow me, you actually knew something! Go figure.
I may have to take some more time to look at this, really evaluate me, and see what it is that constitutes the real me, the one that I keep hidden.
I’ve been wanting to get back into photography for a while. I love it! And I can try to earn some extra money sometimes with it. Besides just making people smile, or myself feel better. I could not decide whether or not to get a new camera though. I WANTED it, but didn’t NEED it. Well, i am OCD and have impulse control issues on Saturday, the inner dialog won apparently and I bought it.
Remember, I’m ocd with impulse control issues… I tried to fight it! But it was yelling and crying “Lindsay!! You are negelcting me, please take me home and make me feel wanted!” NO camera, I can’t, I don’t need you!
Yes you do need me, I’m that missing puzzle in your life, you will feel complete if you have me.
MUST … BE… STRONG… USING THE FORCE… NOOOOOOO!!!!!
COme my child, to the dark side, you know you want me,
BUT… BUT… No, I can’t.
YEs, I can feel it in you. It’s calling to me.
Yeah, you’re right. I do. Ok. Now where is my cookie?!
Yes, that’s what truly went through my head. That’s also an exert from an email I sent to a friend. This is how things are with me all the time. I constantly have those type of conversations running through my head. But, this will be to your benefit, I shall share more art with you!
There comes a time in ones life that they must make a decision. Ok, there are actually a lot of times that one must be faced with having to pick A or B. Perhaps even C or D. Today is one of those days.
I was trying to put finances in order yesterday, being that I was sick and couldn’t find anything else to do. As I was looking at them, I noticed I’m rather short on cash. Time to do something about that. But what? I have a vacation coming up in a month that I rather don’t have the funds for. Sorry Mickey, I’ll have to see you briefly I guess. Anyways. The decision. Should I focus on one of my hobbies to generate more income? If so, which? Sketching? Jewellery? Photography?
Then that brings another question to mind. Use the “account” to buy a new camera now, or wait? (Don’t worry, it’s Dell… Oh I have credit cards, but they’re not for vacation 😦 ) If I get one now, should I get a Canon, or a Nikon? Which one? Of course it’s going to be a digital SLR because that’s the best kind. It just means that I no longer have to work with a darkroom and chemicals.
There’s too many choices, and I know my ways, they lean towards the wrong ways. What’s a girl to do? I need to spend money to make money, but which way do I spend this money? Which will bring in the greater rewards?