So it has been a while. Things have definitely been busy and crazy, but despite the hardships, I feel blessed.
I’ve met the most amazing and caring person. Not to mention incredibly sexy. (He says no, but I disagree. Though when he says the same to me, I say no as well.) He’s helped me by just being who he is. He knows who he is and is comfortable with who he has become. He accepts me for who I am, this includes my past. He embraces it, stating it has created me into who I am now, and that is who he loves.
Knowing this, and feeling this love and acceptance, I’ve been able to heal. It’s more of a total healing. I’ve been able to accept myself. I know, who would have thought this would happen. I never did, but it’s amazing. I really am healing. I am finding my true self, and accepting who I am. When I say accepting, I mean it not in a “Oh that’s just who I am type of way, and it won’t change”, no not that, I’m realizing who I am, what makes me, and embracing it.
That’s right. Embracing who I am and what makes me who I am.
I’m also learning to trust. After everything I have gone through, I’m learning trust, something I thought was gone and would never come back. I won’t lie and say it is easy, because it’s not. Not a chance in the world of that being easy. It’s a constant battle. It’s so engrained into me to be negative and to feel that nothing will work out, but I’m learning to trust. My boyfriend is the best thing to happen to me and helping me with trust. I’m experiencing reasons to trust, and then having these feelings reinforced. I’m not going to say I have this down, and I know what I’m doing. I need reminders. I need help. But here’s the point, I’m learning and building. I have a reason to trust. Everyone else in my life has shown me that trust is something that cannot be had, now, I know differently.
Kind of nice isn’t it?
Oh… I’ve changed a bit. There are some pink chunks to my hair, and I now have my symbol on my wrists. My sparrows are with me where I can see them always. My strength. They’re there whenever I need a reminder. I’m here, and I’m standing stronger. Little by little.
A little pink…
My strength, my reminders, my symbols.
My Rabbit Hole Trips 
Yay! This is great news, congratulations!! I hope this means we can see you blog more again 🙂
I will definitely be blogging more. I was focusing on myself. I found a place to live, and have learned who I am, and writers blocks have been disappearing. This is helping. Now I want to share with others. Thanks for you concern Gabriel 🙂 Means a lot.
I am so happy for you 🙂 and proud of you for letting some-one in…
*Big Happy Hugs*
It’s been one of the hardest things to do, but it’s been rewarding. Sometimes I wonder if he knows how much he means, but then he’s always there and doing special things for me. But of course, I am always doing little things when I can.
I hope you both go far and wish you so much happiness ❤ !!!
Aw thanks Hun! ❤
Welcome back, you. I love the pink and the tats. Most of all, I love the fact that you have found and are continuing to find acceptance, lovie. I was more than a little worried.
Aw! Thanks hun. That means a lot to me. It’s so hard, and a constant work, but I’m liking myself. I don’t have the thoughts I’ve had before. I haven’t had an urge to hurt myself in a while now. It’s like I found what I was missing.
Sorry you were worried 😦
Hooray! Hooray for finding you. Hooray for accepting who you are. Hooray for getting stronger. Yes, just lots and lots of hoorays all around. And, welcome back. 🙂
Thanks Mattie!
It’s good to see you back. I’m happy things are finally looking up for you. You deserve all the good things that come your way.
Thanks TD. Finally get past the block and wanting to write again.
And thanks for the well wishes.
I told you that you’d get here, my dear. I had faith in you. You’re 33 grams of awesome. Don’t ever forget it.
Thanks Hun. I’m working on it. But there have been vast improvements.
Glad to read things are bright on your side!
Thanks! I’m really liking this change.
Congratulations! Especially on the “learning to trust” part. I’m dealing with huge non-trust of men issues and just recently, I let a wall down to start to get to know a single father who is the parent of a kid in my own kid’s class…big mistake. He turned out to be a liar who “wanted his cake and eat it to” if you get my meaning. I posted a more detailed blog about it in my blog but the result was that 5 more walls came up around me to take the place of the one wall I let down.
I’ve given up on men and love completely. So it’s so enlightening to hear you say the positive outcome of your situation 🙂
It is ridiculously hard to trust, but I’m learning. I had given up on finding anyone. Literally had said that, and started walking away from everyone, then he walked into my life, and it was like we were meant to be. I love him and he is the best thing to have happened to me. He is my therapist and teacher and adventure mate. Oh the troubles we get into.
My pretty kitty, you’re back on WP! And I’m so happy you guys found each other and that he makes you feel safe.
As for your tattoos, how are they holding up? 😀
They’re all healed up. Looking awesome. I want to get some stars around them now.
I’m so happy to be back. And boyfriend is the bestest. I cannot wait for you to meet him!
They look beautiful and the guy did a great job!
I can’t wait to meet him (and possibly) Lily too. ^_^
I hope I can bring Lily. I think you’ll love her and her silliness.
I love having my symbols where I can see them. I’m already planning more. I’m an ink addict I think.
It’s a symptom of inking. Once you start it’s hard to stop! 😉
And I’m hoping it’s a possibility. We shall see. Who will babysit her if you can’t? 😦
Hopefully a work mate, or the only family still speaking to me, my cousins.
Woohoo! Congratulations on, well, everything there, Alice. It’s amazing how having a couple of things go well can make everything else improve. And your fella sounds like a keeper. Xxx
It is amazing. I feel so much better. I’ve been getting healthier as I have someone to trust and rely on. And he is. I love him and he is definitely amazing.
Yay! I’m glad you’ve come back!! Love the hair and the sparrows, beautiful! Look after yourself! Hope everything continues to go well for you. xo
I am working on it. Work is going good, personal life is getting better, I’m getting better. It’s quite a good feeling. And depression is at a minimal right now. 🙂
Awesome, One day at a time chicky poo 😀 😀 😀
Trying. Some days are a lot harder than others. Today has been one, but I’m learning how to make best of it.
I’m always thinking about you, worried when you didn’t come around for awhile, so glad your back! 😀
Thanks hun.I’ve been working on coming back. Glad things are finally settling down.
I am glad things are going good Kim..
I TOTALLY get this blog and what you mean.,,.
Accepting who we are can be really difficult for some..
I am glad you are finding you, through all you been through, you deserve this and MORE..
Shaun x