Acceptance and Blessings

So it has been a while. Things have definitely been busy and crazy, but despite the hardships, I feel blessed.

I’ve met the most amazing and caring person. Not to mention incredibly sexy. (He says no, but I disagree. Though when he says the same to me, I say no as well.)  He’s helped me by just being who he is. He knows who he is and is comfortable with who he has become. He accepts me for who I am, this includes my past. He embraces it, stating it has created me into who I am now, and that is who he loves.

Knowing this, and feeling this love and acceptance, I’ve been able to heal. It’s more of a total healing. I’ve been able to accept myself.  I know, who would have thought this would happen. I never did, but it’s amazing. I really am healing. I am finding my true self, and accepting who I am. When I say accepting, I mean it not in a “Oh that’s just who I am type of way, and it won’t change”, no not that, I’m realizing who I am, what makes me, and embracing it.

That’s right. Embracing who I am and what makes me who I am.

I’m also learning to trust. After everything I have gone through, I’m learning trust, something I thought was gone and would never come back. I won’t lie and say it is easy, because it’s not. Not a chance in the world of that being easy. It’s a constant battle. It’s so engrained into me to be negative and to feel that nothing will work out, but I’m learning to trust. My boyfriend is the best thing to happen to me and helping me with trust. I’m experiencing reasons to trust, and then having these feelings reinforced. I’m not going to say I have this down, and I know what I’m doing. I need reminders. I need help.  But here’s the point, I’m learning and building. I have a reason to trust. Everyone else in my life has shown me that trust is something that cannot be had, now, I know differently.

Kind of nice isn’t it?

Oh… I’ve changed a bit.  There are some pink chunks to my hair, and I now have my symbol on my wrists. My sparrows are with  me where I can see them always. My strength. They’re there whenever I need a reminder. I’m here, and I’m standing stronger. Little by little.

 

A little pink...

A little pink…

My strength, my reminders, my symbols.

My strength, my reminders, my symbols.

33 thoughts on “Acceptance and Blessings

    • I will definitely be blogging more. I was focusing on myself. I found a place to live, and have learned who I am, and writers blocks have been disappearing. This is helping. Now I want to share with others. Thanks for you concern Gabriel :) Means a lot.

  1. Welcome back, you. I love the pink and the tats. Most of all, I love the fact that you have found and are continuing to find acceptance, lovie. I was more than a little worried.

    • Aw! Thanks hun. That means a lot to me. It’s so hard, and a constant work, but I’m liking myself. I don’t have the thoughts I’ve had before. I haven’t had an urge to hurt myself in a while now. It’s like I found what I was missing.

      Sorry you were worried :(

  2. Hooray! Hooray for finding you. Hooray for accepting who you are. Hooray for getting stronger. Yes, just lots and lots of hoorays all around. And, welcome back. :-)

  3. Congratulations! Especially on the “learning to trust” part. I’m dealing with huge non-trust of men issues and just recently, I let a wall down to start to get to know a single father who is the parent of a kid in my own kid’s class…big mistake. He turned out to be a liar who “wanted his cake and eat it to” if you get my meaning. I posted a more detailed blog about it in my blog but the result was that 5 more walls came up around me to take the place of the one wall I let down.

    I’ve given up on men and love completely. So it’s so enlightening to hear you say the positive outcome of your situation :)

    • It is ridiculously hard to trust, but I’m learning. I had given up on finding anyone. Literally had said that, and started walking away from everyone, then he walked into my life, and it was like we were meant to be. I love him and he is the best thing to have happened to me. He is my therapist and teacher and adventure mate. Oh the troubles we get into.

  4. Woohoo! Congratulations on, well, everything there, Alice. It’s amazing how having a couple of things go well can make everything else improve. And your fella sounds like a keeper. Xxx

  5. Yay! I’m glad you’ve come back!! Love the hair and the sparrows, beautiful! Look after yourself! Hope everything continues to go well for you. xo

  6. I am glad things are going good Kim..
    I TOTALLY get this blog and what you mean.,,.
    Accepting who we are can be really difficult for some..
    I am glad you are finding you, through all you been through, you deserve this and MORE..

    Shaun x

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