Strong?
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche
This quote, while it is meant to inspire, makes me ponder. Really ponder. If the hard things are suppose to make me stronger, then why am I not strong?
How I wish I felt.
Is there a reason I cannot hold the world above my head and keep on going? Ok, something more reasonable. How is it that I cannot handle all that keeps coming my way?
No, this is true, and it’s what is in my head right now. Why is it that instead of feeling strong, I feel weak. It is as if I am unable to become stronger. I will continually be weak. How much longer am I to continually be pounded and kicked upon by life? Will this get better? Will I make it through to the end?
I swear that this is a conspiracy. A conspiracy to make one think that things will get better, that they can endure to the end in one piece. I’m not buying into this right now. Nope, not at all. If I was, then wouldn’t things have gotten better, instead of worse? Wouldn’t I be seeing some sunshine in my life? Perhaps I wouldn’t be as shattered as I feel.
How I really feel.
Maybe.
Maybe Not.
Once you’re through it all and look back you will finally realize how strong you’ve become.
I hope I’m able to see that day, and sooner rather than later.